Pakefield Re-United Match Report 20th Sept.

“Pakefield Reunited travelled to the quiet backwaters of the Waveney Valley to face Ellingham. The recent weather had obviously been good for those involved in silage production as the pitch resembled the waving grasslands of the Pampas. Grave concerns were felt for the safety of Harvey “The Rabbit” and “Duracell” Godbold getting lost after falling into the line markings. However, the glorious sunshine and lack of breeze meant worries over dehydration should also have been raised.

Changes to the team saw the return of “Punty” Punt and “Deckhand” Scriggins and the changing room banter centred on whether the shot-to-miss ratio could be as high as the previous week. Early signs were that the answer would be no; shots only come when a team can keep the ball! Passes along the ground stopped short while those taking a more aerial route were going astray. Pakefield fell behind to a poorly defended cross leading to a well taken headed goal. This lead to Pakefield finally engaging with the task in hand and good approach work led to a well taken goal from “Deckhand” Scriggins. This was closely followed by the first of two rare events. Firstly a goal ruled out for offside after a fifteen minute conference call with the FA on what construes passive and active involvement. Secondly “Bambi” Michalski missing a penalty or rather by allowing the goalkeeper to fall onto a shot so weak that comments about “long grass” featured in the post-match discussions. “Bambi” Michalski however continued to terrorise the back four of Ellingham and along with driving runs from “Tracey” Chapman, Harvey “The Rabbit” and “Tin Head” Whale. It all lead to a purple patch and two further goals, one more for “Deckhand” Scriggins which followed on from a well taken goal for “Bambi” Michalski.

The half-time talk was full of positive comments but one phrase stood out “the next goal was very important”. Pakefield seemed to have gone to sleep and couldn’t get started during the first twenty minutes of the second half. Ellingham, using “Route One” started to mount a serious challenge which led to the possible “champagne moment” in the match. “Leaping like a salmon” and “amazing reflexes and agility” are not normally used to describe “Boris” Becker but all the flash photographers were in action as a cross and powerful header saw him tip over the goal bound ball. This allowed Pakefield to re-establish some control on the game. During the next ten minutes it saw “Bambi” Michalski turning players inside out better than a washer woman doing the pillow cases before finally scoring that important next goal with a strong turn and curling shot. The last ten minutes saw the “empty” buzzer sound on Pakefield’s energy levels and another re-run of “Pinball Wizard” between “Her Suit” Craft, “Boris” Becker and “Punty”Punt almost led to Ellingham’s second goal. This continued with a series of corners, crosses and shots slowly lengthening the list of body parts used by “Punty” Punt to block the ball, and a comedy “pass back” and free kick. “PG” Graham did shepherd a stunning drive by Ellingham into the bottom corner for their second goal but had the final laugh as Pakefield notched up their first league win. Thanks to everybody for turning out and see you all next week for the “Red Herring” match?

TEAM: Becker, Craft, Punt, Graham, Godbold, Whale (Dale), Harvey, Taylor (Coote), Chapman, Scriggins, Michalski

RESULT: Won 4-2 GOALS: Michalski(2), Scriggins (2)

COMEDY VALUE: Ellingham Free Kick Routine, “Punty” and “Boris” using the same manual on left foot clearances”